don't.slow.down.

The events that occurred within today melted together so wonderfully, and for no extraordinary reason.  This, indeed, is worthy of a smile.

Make your guts grin.

…to tell major best friend and I can’t hold it in!!!

GAHHH!

I am loud.
I can be annoying but you love me anyways.
I love to be goofy.
I am almost never normal.
I love to dance around like a crazy person.
No matter where I am.
I love to sing on the top of my lungs.
I still laugh at fart jokes…it’s funny get over it.
I am completely comfortable embarrassing myself (and you) in public.
I tell the truth no matter what.
Half the things I say are in some foreign accent.
I am quite unpredictable.
I am immature, but also can have a serious conversation.
I love to joke around.
I laugh when people tell me that I am quiet.
I am pretty competitive.

If you have a hard time believing any of this is true, a couple things are possible:

1. I don’t trust you.
2. I’m having a bad day. Shit happens. Move on.
3. You make me nervous.
4. I need time to warm up to you.
5. You need to work harder to figure me out.

It’s usually the last one.

Today, I much rather let down others than myself.

“Can’t over it, can’t go under it, I guess we’ll go through it”

Avoiding things. I have been pretty darn good at that my whole life. I thought it would make me stronger to say no to things. I thought it was a symbol of self control and maturity to go around all the things others around me were doing. It made me different than others and it set me apart. I forgot one thing. I forgot the importance of experience. Some people call it being perfect, and that is what I thought I was getting at. I wanted to be perfect in the eyes of those I admired. I wanted to do what I was supposed to and what they wanted me to. What good comes out of doing what you are supposed to do? What have I learned from being “perfect?”. Throughout my life I put myself aside to live up to this image others put out for me and I did it exceptionally well. Now I have hit a wall. I am being forced to create my own happiness. I am remembering the things that define me and make me happy. I must go back to those. I must do what I want to in order to learn and accept the harsh facts of life. I must do the wrong thing sometimes. No matter my morals, religion, family, or friends say, I will use my own judgement to do the things that I see fit. My happiness is a byproduct of my own decisions and no one else. This I must remember. If I feel like I am letting others down, I must remember that my experiences are going to make me a smarter and more valuable person, daughter, friend and stronger in all my relationships. I will no longer let my obedience get in he way of my intelligence in decision making. I will no longer go around the things that I encounter in life, but rather trudge straight through them with utter confidence and an open mind.